I exist behind a guise Crushed beneath professional hair Cannot breathe inside this suit The one I swore I’d never wear They were the worst days of my life Yet I’m back inside in that cell The one I thought I had escaped The one that I always called hell The things we do to pay the bills Can make us strangers to ourselves If only I could see me now But I have become someone else In my bathroom there’s a mirror But staring back at me Unrecognizable reflection Pseudo identity I plaster on my daily smile The one the world expects I turn away and close the door My tie a noose around my neck I hear the words fall from my throat Saying things I don’t believe Same old stories I was told The ones from which I had been freed Until I had masters to please Bosses I’m forced to obey The evil’s always so banal When normalised as just another day The things we do to pay the bills Would make our younger selves blush red If only I could see me now But the me I was is dead In my bathroom there’s a mirror But staring back at me Unrecognizable reflection Pseudo identity I plaster on my daily smile The one the world expects I turn away and close the door My tie a noose around my neck Life – binding me, hiding me, holding me prisoner, entwining me Now I need, to break free, now I need to begin finding me Finding me

It’s hard to find others When you keep losing yourself But harder to lose them Because they wanted someone else Think you’ve found a home But it’s just foster care again A temporary reprieve Until you’re out the door again I don’t mean to be so difficult But I will always speak my mind The ones who like what they hear Are the ones I need to find Each time I’ve found my tribe All too soon I don’t belong Think that I’ve found my people But soon find out I was wrong Each time that I’m welcomed I’m too soon shown to the door I show the world who I am It never asks for an encore I don’t mean to be so difficult But I will always speak my mind The ones who like what they hear Are the ones I need to find I light my beacon, hopeful It will attract like-minded light The beacon’s glow starts to smoulder… Fades, unseen, into the night I shout these words out in rhythm Write down who I am in rhyme My voice is a constant prayer In a world with no divine I don’t mean to be so difficult But I will always speak my mind The ones who like what they hear Are the ones I need to find But I’m not changing for acceptance Because those who get it, get it And those who don’t… …Were never worth the time

I’m still searching for that scene I dreamed of in the suburbs Listening to records of a past already dead Because where do you go when you want to be you But you want to be you in a place which no longer exists? I’m still searching for that scene We dined on leftovers long out of date, hoping the next meal would bring nourishment not more empty stomachs But there’s only so many disappointing rooms taunting Before you realise this is all you are gonna get I’m still searching for that scene Sending out messages in cut and paste, With a self-addressed Envelope To rusting PO Boxes only answered By the heroes we were told to never meet Ahead of our time, we lived in the past Unable to bridge the gap between the then and now We were children hunting down an impossible dream One from which they can’t seem to shake me quite awake. I’m still searching for that scene

Just as fucked up as I ever was Maybe fucked up a little more The damage of a life lived wide awake While other people close their eyes I cut my hair sometimes to celebrate To mark another minor liberation You join the dots of every scar They come together and they form a mask That’s far too easy to slip on I find myself when I refuse When I raise two middle fingers at the world Bursting from the grave I gasp deep at the fresh air A zombie roaming empty streets Finding myself, Piece by piece Just in time for them To bury me alive again I find myself in my old notebooks Which read the same as this one now And listening back to all those favourite songs Which never fail to make me feel The way I felt listening for the first time I wear myself upon my sleeve In new tattoos and ancient t-shirts I am myself when I am ill at ease Sleepless nights and restless days I am nothing but my patterns Childhood traumas locked in amber Bursting from the grave I gasp deep at the fresh air A zombie roaming empty streets Finding myself, Piece by piece Just in time for them To bury me alive again We can always disappoint The person we see standing in the mirror But we can also make them proud A lot is lost with every passing year A thousand cuts of compromise But they can never take it all away So hold on tight to what is left I have never been the person that they thought I was Some days I am better Some days I am much worse But I am always somewhere inside even when I’m lost I’m still there clinging on Bursting from the grave I gasp deep at the fresh air A zombie roaming empty streets Finding myself, Piece by piece Just in time for them To bury me alive again My nemesis is the unthinking status quo My secret power is my power to say no Bursting from the grave I gasp deep at the fresh air A zombie roaming empty streets Finding myself, Piece by piece Just in time for them To bury me alive again

False smile, wide eyes Dreams dead, lost pride Chin up, shut down Lost and not found And hey, what happened to you today Hey what happened to you? Where is the you, the you we used to see? The one with all the hopes and all the dreams? The one who said the world was ours to change? Where is the idealist artistic heart? The revolution we were charged to start? Where is the you, the you you used to be? Earning a living Worn down, give in Sold out and employed Bills paid, but hope void You got a job Mortgage, locked in Own your own prison Pension, pay cheque Another lost reject And hey, what happened to you today? (You got a job) Hey what happened to you? Congratulations!

Streets filled with conspiracy The Masses Screaming To Be Free Demonstrators everywhere The rich are having quite a scare Fighting against corruption and a murderous regime The masses are uprising and are taking to the streets Protest's a right supposedly in this democracy So why on earth is everywhere surrounded by police? Banners and singing against tear-gas, clubs and guns Who is really protecting the peace? This is what democracy looks like Is this what democracy looks like? Everyday people are screwed By systemic structural abuse Corporate ruling capitalists Screw us over for their profit But now we're getting restless and we're beating on our drums A battle cry for freedom in our mass demonstrations Our anger turned to magic and some more direct action A democratic right to voice our dissatisfaction We're growing stronger not going away In fear they bring in their armies! This is what democracy looks like Is this what democracy looks like? Cuz to me it just looks like Marshall law! Undercover cops sparking up violence Military nerve gasses to stop our dissent Arrested for political opinions As rubber bullets fly at our painted faces The class war illustrated As the cops protect the ruling class This is your democracy Aren't you so proud of what you let pass? Freedom of speech beaten away We speak our minds, their batons raise! The confrontation evidence they've something to protect Throw all you can at us cuz we will never rest! We will fight until we win Your mind manipulation is wearing thin This ain't what democracy looks like! This ain't what democracy looks like! Because it's not a democracy when you're beaten up for speaking out This ain't a democracy-oh no!